The Abyss Also Gazes Into You

And talking about eyes, celebrities, and zodiacal silliness, I totally have to bring up Scorpios. Because Scorpios also stand out -- I can detect female Scorpio celebrities with uncanny accuracy. I'll say "I bet she's a damned Scorpio" and I'll be right. Scorpio guys are harder to detect, and I don't know why that is; I think a general fucked-upness is in play with Scorpio guys that has them maybe at odds with themselves.

And lord help the world when a Scorpio gets a bee in their bonnet, because it's never coming out. The Scorpio Gaze is different from the Libra Gaze in that there's a hardness to it (regardless of how girly and pretty the woman is, Scorpio Eyes are HARD), and the second sterling quality of the Scorpio Gaze is that it bores into you. Whereas a Libra's just gazing at you flatly, a Scorpio is bringing their searchlight eyes to bear on you, seeing through you -- I have likened it to gazing in a dark pool of water, and you know there's a sea monster in there looking back at you; you can't quite see the monster, but you know it's there, and it's looking back at you, and it will kill you, if you're not careful. Let's look at some examples...

First, let me start with an exemplar. Vivien Leigh. She masterfully put her Scorpio Eyes to work to secure all sorts of roles, and she put those headlamps to bear in shot after shot. Very memorable (and, amusingly, she channeled the archetypal Libra with Blanche DuBois, but she still had Scorpio eyes in that role).

Grace Kelly is likely one that would fool most people -- they'd think "Oh, she's a Libra, right?" Because she has those elements. Except the eyes. Grace Kelly's eyes are the "tell" with her. A "Scorpio Test" I like to do is to cover the rest of the face, revealing only the eyes. If they're the eyes of a killer, then odds are very, very good that you're dealing with a Scorpio. Try it, you'll see. Monster in the water, gazing up at you from the depths. Wanting to eat you.

And who can forget Sean Young, in her fleeting star turn in "Bladerunner?" Exemplary Scorpio Eyes (and Scorpio lifestyle, if history is any indication). Again, the eyes aren't flat; rather, they are boring into you, across space and time, and are devoid of compassion. Pretty face, killer's eyes.

What about sweet, bosomy, goofy-faced Anne Hathaway? Such a nice young woman, masterfully suited for particular roles? Mmm hmm. The eyes. Mind those deadly eyes -- they will drown you.

Kelly Osbourne? Not that plump little child of celebrity. Not her, too, surely? God, yes. Deadly eyes. Scorpio Eyes.

Jenny McCarthy, the Joan of Arc of anti-vaccination? Yep. She might be mistaken for a Libra in the above one, if you weren't paying attention, but those eyes are boring into you, saying "Hey, don't you realize that vaccination is the greatest threat to humanity since fluoridation?" Sure, Jenny. Just try convincing a Scorpio that they're wrong. Seriously. Try it sometime.

Callista Flockhart is another exemplar. The Scorpio Gaze gives away nothing, while seeks to plumb your depths (if there). I imagine Scorpios could be good poker players, just because they'd sit across the table and freak out the other players with their killer's eyes.

Let's not forget Winon Ryder. She based a whole career on those sea monster eyes of hers. I imagine she thought she could shoplift with those eyes, like just stunning the clerks into submission.

Another 80s icon of sorts, Demi Moore. She epitomizes the Scorpio Gaze in a postmodern world. Determined, ruthless, deadly. The "tell" with Scorpio eyes is that they stand out from the face that surrounds them, and they bore into you.

Rachel McAdams is one who might fool the unwary, because of her "America's Sweetheart" kind of bearing, and her big, cartoonish smile. But she's a Scorpio, and the eyes are the Tell. She will fucking kill you, if you're not careful.

Pretty. Vacant.

I have a thing for Libra women; the rule of thumb is if a celebrity babe strikes my fancy out of the blue, odds are good that she's a Libra. I can't account for it, but it's so often true that I can usually spot them. Many of my celebrity crushes are Libra babes. A big tell is their eyes -- they have doll eyes, basically, with a flat aspect to their gaze. Here are some samples...

Naomi Watts. Hard-working actress who is generic enough that she gets a lot of work, but then people are like "It was that movie with, you know, what's her name?"

Avril Lavigne, who may or may not qualify as a celebrity, anymore. Does she still sing? I dunno. But dig those empty, empty eyes. What's she thinking about? Anything?

Gwen Stefani is one of the Libra exemplars -- pretty, fashionable, femme, stylish, but what's going on in that head? Her dark eyes help disguise it, but I bet there are ample tales behind the scenes.

Ah, Kate Winslet. Yes, yes, yes. A fine actress, and so fond of doffing her duds to reveal her delightful curves, what's not to like? And I do think she's mighty fine. And yet, those eyes, what to make of them? She's an exemplar in terms of my "Libra Eyes" meme. You can pick through any number of her shots and see them gazing out at you flatly.

It's hard to find a celebrity more "Libra-ish" than Gwyneth Paltrow. She's a true Libra exemplar, who manages the breezy flakiness and nutball trippiness with the blandly beautiful appearance and those astoundingly flat eyes (they look even emptier when she's actually acting, in motion -- her eyes are like marbles).

Another exemplar is Alicia Silverstone. She can look at you with those flat eyes and it makes you want to snap your fingers in front of her face like "Hello? Is there anybody in there?" It's not that Librans aren't smart, because I'm sure they are; it's just that their eyes have that shallow gaze that gives you absolutely no indication of what's going on in there.

And lest you think it's only female Librans who have this quality...

I mean, we know Matt Damon's a smart guy, right? But what's with those eyes? Again, the finger snap test comes into play, here.

Viggo Mortensen. Helllllooooo? Viggggo? Where you at, Holmes?

Now, Librans are usually smooth operators, socially, and can be superficially charming, even charismatic after a fashion (and who can argue with the Libran tendency toward exhibitionism?), but they all have those Libran dolls' eyes that are usually a dead-eyed giveaway, if you're paying attention. If eyes are the mirrors of the soul, then are Librans ultimately soulless? Are those mirrors two-way, or merely one-way? That proverb is never more perfect than with Librans.