Sunday, September 12, 2010

Pretty. Vacant.

I have a thing for Libra women; the rule of thumb is if a celebrity babe strikes my fancy out of the blue, odds are good that she's a Libra. I can't account for it, but it's so often true that I can usually spot them. Many of my celebrity crushes are Libra babes. A big tell is their eyes -- they have doll eyes, basically, with a flat aspect to their gaze. Here are some samples...

Naomi Watts. Hard-working actress who is generic enough that she gets a lot of work, but then people are like "It was that movie with, you know, what's her name?"


Avril Lavigne, who may or may not qualify as a celebrity, anymore. Does she still sing? I dunno. But dig those empty, empty eyes. What's she thinking about? Anything?

Gwen Stefani is one of the Libra exemplars -- pretty, fashionable, femme, stylish, but what's going on in that head? Her dark eyes help disguise it, but I bet there are ample tales behind the scenes.

Ah, Kate Winslet. Yes, yes, yes. A fine actress, and so fond of doffing her duds to reveal her delightful curves, what's not to like? And I do think she's mighty fine. And yet, those eyes, what to make of them? She's an exemplar in terms of my "Libra Eyes" meme. You can pick through any number of her shots and see them gazing out at you flatly.

It's hard to find a celebrity more "Libra-ish" than Gwyneth Paltrow. She's a true Libra exemplar, who manages the breezy flakiness and nutball trippiness with the blandly beautiful appearance and those astoundingly flat eyes (they look even emptier when she's actually acting, in motion -- her eyes are like marbles).


Another exemplar is Alicia Silverstone. She can look at you with those flat eyes and it makes you want to snap your fingers in front of her face like "Hello? Is there anybody in there?" It's not that Librans aren't smart, because I'm sure they are; it's just that their eyes have that shallow gaze that gives you absolutely no indication of what's going on in there.

And lest you think it's only female Librans who have this quality...

I mean, we know Matt Damon's a smart guy, right? But what's with those eyes? Again, the finger snap test comes into play, here.

Viggo Mortensen. Helllllooooo? Viggggo? Where you at, Holmes?

Now, Librans are usually smooth operators, socially, and can be superficially charming, even charismatic after a fashion (and who can argue with the Libran tendency toward exhibitionism?), but they all have those Libran dolls' eyes that are usually a dead-eyed giveaway, if you're paying attention. If eyes are the mirrors of the soul, then are Librans ultimately soulless? Are those mirrors two-way, or merely one-way? That proverb is never more perfect than with Librans.