Her Radiance?

Okay, so this commercial just freaked me out. This chick just gains these godlike powers to blink out of existence everybody who's in her way? Creep macking on her? *POOF* People ahead of her in line at the club? *POOF* Chicks talking to the guy she's set her sights on? *POOF* The blithe way she just strolls up and says "Hi" to that guy, after all of these people she's evaporated? The guy should be freaked out and asking whether she's some monstrous alien and/or goddess of death or something. And what also bugs me: she deletes the people waiting in line BEHIND her, too. WTF? Why?

Hmm

I like Campari. I also like Salma Hayek (okay, she's got a reputation as being majorly high-maintenance [putting it politely], but she's very juicy). But somehow, Salma Hayek shilling for Campari is perplexing to me. What does Salma Hayek have to do with Campari? And the ads are kind of odd the way the Burger King "King" ads were odd, too...

For example, the above ad makes me think that Salma actually bludgeoned her Eurotrash lover/boy toy with the Campari bottle (or else she drugged him), and you were walking in with some ice (because you guys were going to have a three-way, of course)...

and she's staring at you, trying to make up some story about how he's just sleeping with his eyes open, that he's not actually dead. All of the ads are willfully off like that. It's the kind of thing where I might be tempted to reach for a bottle of Campari, only to hesitate, with a kind of David Lynch icy jazz soundtrack coming up, some odd stranger appearing, some film noir fugue state intruding on the moment, giving me pause. Because she will kill you...

In fact, she just called you up, so you can join Eurotrash Victim 1 and Glamour Boy 2 (who she's ensuring is dead by gouging him in the eye with her hand).

"Stellllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Wonder Woman

Saw this display while out and about today. Yeah, Wonder Woman, beat that fashion-challenged Medusa! Defeat Medusa's "Drab Ray..."

Disco

Hmm. I'm minding my own business, trying to read an article on the Web, and this "Do It with Disco" sidebar ad from American Apparel keeps distracting me...

In fact, I'm distracted again, just seeing this. Mmmm. Wait, what the hell was I even talking about? Who am I? Where am I? Mmmm....

Magic Bus?

Woman's Brilliant Backside Wins Her VW Bus

No doubt this isn't something she wants to leave behind! I don't think the winner's can is so fab, gotta say...

Lizzy Marola's winning picture.

Abt. Always. Be....

I saw an Abt truck in my 'hood the other day, and maybe it's just me, but seeing these slogans on the truck, it made me wonder just what personal electronics Abt was providing...

Blast from the past....

Hipster Holidays

I'm not the only one irritated by the "Hipster Christmas" Hyundai ads...

Pomplamoose Pimps Hyundais

I would like to bludgeon the twee mofo in this with those jingle bells he's brandishing. Kinda like this...

*JING* SMASH *JING* SMASH *JING* SMASH

And then put'em in the trunk of a Hyundai and drive it off a bridge.

"HO HO HO!"

Jesus Christ!

What Would Jesus Wear? J. Crew, apparently. It's the Second Coming...of STYLE!

Swim.

I saw this American Apparel ad on the back of this week's Chicago READER. Mmmmmm. It almost makes me want to go swimming, if only our beaches weren't currently toxic with E. coli.

Nike's Got Back

Looks like Nike's gonna get behind its new product line...

Mmmmmm hmmm!

Limoncello?!

I saw this face on an anti-child prostitution PSA ad on the bus the other day, and almost did a spit-take in shock! It's like the SEINFELD where Elaine sees the mannequin that looks like her! I just took a hasty picture of it, as the bus was crowded, but still, it was uncanny! I'll try to snap a better picture of it if I run into it again.

Mother?

Hmmm.

Oscar Mayer Being Wieners?

Hmmm. "Cold cut envy?" Oscar Mayer, oh, you ham! You'll LONG for their deli fresh meats. Mmm hmm. Psychosexual subtext in your advertising, anyone? She looks like she really, really wants to take a mouthful of his...sandwich?

Bebelicious.

Bus kiosk, State Street and Van Buren.