Working Assets

Rest assured, it's easy to assess what Jessica Biel's greatest cinematic asset is...

The Aliens Have Landed

Somewhere out there is an air conditioning unit that requires servicing. Right now, it makes a whirring sound, like a fan in need of some WD-40 or something, that sounds like a hovering flying saucer might, or like a giant monster cricket. And it cycles repeatedly -- it'll run for about three minutes, and will then shut down. And then you'll hear it again. I can never properly isolate the unit, because the way it echoes off the buildings, it's hard to isolate (and it appears to only be on at night). Anyway, I'm hearing it now. God help you if you hear it when you're awake (and trying to sleep), because you just hear that fucking noise. It makes me want to be a rooftop repair ninja, tracking down that sound and slathering the offending piece of machinery with WD-40.

There, it stopped. But it'll be back. At least the Reggae Asshole Brigade appear to be snoozing right now. They had that party over the weekend with "Gonna get fucked up!" as the crowd's mantra, shouted every few minutes. Life in the big city!

Back to sleep, hopefully!