Thursday, May 27, 2010

Scene: Boy, Howdy

Man, this Michigander wannabe Lothario named "Ted" was really, really working hard to try to pick up a gal on the bus tonight. He and his wingman were dogging this moderately attractive gal -- he was wearing his aviator shades, had his gelled hair, his worn jeans and flip-flops, overtanned face, teeth way too white (he looked like one of my former high school classmates set to Frat Boy), and chewing gum while offering 20 Questions to the gal (she was brunette, reasonably tall but seeming taller in her cork heeled sandals) -- endless question after question, which she gamely answered, while trying politely to communicate lack of interest. The guy kept going in that frat boy monotone that involves name-dropping various places around town, trying to gauge her interest. "Ever been to...?" and on and on. Finally, he turned to his friend (back to the gal) and said "Lemme borrow your iPhone; set it up, I need to get a phone number, here." and he turns and says "How about those digits?" and she looks at him, like "I can't believe he's trying to pick me up on the bus." and she gives him a number, which he duly enters, then hands the phone back to his buddy, says "Dial it up, see if it's really hers." then turns to her, says "He's gonna call you, see if it's yours." and the buddy dials it and her phone (which she's had out the whole time, as she's been texting) doesn't ring. "Ted" is like "Whoa...." and she says "Must be a dropped call or something." and he's like "I dunno, man." and his buddy tries again, but no dice. Now, the whole time, "Ted" is busy cracking his gum and trying to be cool, but at this point, he's got no play left, and his buddy's snickering (he was seated next to me), and says "Man, you got shot down, Ted. What a great start to the evening! That was awesome." Meanwhile, "Ted" is busy trying to salvage what's left of his douchebag dignity, turning his back on the gal and bantering with his buddy about what they're gonna do this evening.

It was amusing seeing him go down in flames, just because he wouldn't leave that gal alone. For her part, she just handled it pretty coolly. I wanted to laugh, had to bite my lip.