Saturday, February 5, 2011

Phased

Kirk showing you what a phaser's for, Fuckers!

Not to belabor Trek-related points, but one other telling sign of "The Next Generation's" limp-dicked 90s ethos was the redesign of phasers. Whereas the original 60s phasers were either the little boxes of Phaser I variety, or the more butch Phaser II variety (which incorporated Phaser I in the top, the black part)...

Phaser II means fucking business.

...the TNG phasers looked like fucking Dustbusters...

TNG Phaser: "Shine your boots, Guvner?"


The original phasers looked like they'd fuck you up in a retro futuristic fashion; the TNG phasers looked fit only to pick up lint. You know I'm right.

The first time I saw them dishing those things out, I thought "Oh, nooooo."

Magic Bus?

Woman's Brilliant Backside Wins Her VW Bus

No doubt this isn't something she wants to leave behind! I don't think the winner's can is so fab, gotta say...

Lizzy Marola's winning picture.

Dearly Departed

I watched "The Departed" last night, which I've seen and enjoyed a few times over the years. Only a couple of complaints (and some spoilers follow herein, if you're one of those folks who frets spoilers, and somehow hasn't seen this movie but intends to). One is that Martin Scorsese, who is a director I'm fond of, (or any other director) should be prohibited from ever using Rolling Stones' songs in his movies, particularly "Gimme Shelter." It's almost a cliché anymore. Yes, it's a good song, lots of drama in it, but it's way, way overused. And the rat at the end is irritating (and was nicely parodied in SIMPSONS: "The rat symbolizes obviousness!")

But overall, the movie's a great time, a tense piece done only the way Scorsese can do it. My lone beef is with the death of Captain Queenan, played by Martin Sheen...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N49bRIT3lPU

Queenan is the "good cop" half of the Undercover Division, with Marky Mark amusingly playing Dignam, the "bad cop" half (an amusing role for him to play, I'm sure). Now, while it's clear the Queenan's mostly a desk jockey, in the scene that leads up to his death, it's frustrating, because he goes to his death without firing a shot -- not only that, but he actually thinks of drawing his gun, and, instead, draws a cigarette and has a last smoke before meeting his doom.

Now, I understand the nice imagery of him being lobbed off a roof and how his demise catapults the story forward, but Queenan's passing that way has a strong whiff of a character being sacrificed for the sake of the plot, a case of "I Must Die Now."

Because, tactically, Queenan's got the edge -- he's got a gun, there are guys coming up the stairs and the elevator, but Queenan could have positioned himself somewhere to pop those elevator guys as they came out (and there are exactly two of them in the elevator, and I think four come up the stairs, having to open a door to pop into the room).

Queenan had enough time to position himself for a takedown of some of these guys. And we know that: 1) he really wants to take down Costello's outfit badly (sure, he may not be as passionate as Dignam, but his exchange with Costello reveals his desire to bring Costello to justice); 2) he knows that Costello's goons are brutal, deadly murderers.

From that perspective, knowing that your doom is coming to you, why the hell wouldn't you take a few of them with you? He dies without firing a shot, without even drawing his gun -- in fact, he only briefly considers drawing it, and thinks better of it. Instead, he gets interrogated (alluded to later when one of them says how he was a tough cop) and lobbed from the roof to his death.

Why that hesitation? He has to know that he's not going to be in for gentle treatment from Costello's goons. He has to know that should they break him, he'll spill the beans on the operation and blow Costigan's cover. Why would he take that chance? Especially when that bad decision costs him his life and nearly jeopardizes his entire operation (by putting the police mole, Colin Sullivan, in a better position to investigate the Undercover Division). He knows that there is a mole, thanks to Costigan's complaining about it, so he has to realize that this moment matters.

But he doesn't act like it does. He acts scared, to be sure, but that's about it. I know they didn't want to have Queenan popping off some of Costello's goons and perhaps surviving the encounter -- since Sullivan had Queenan tailed, if those tails had heard gunfire from the building, they'd have intervened sooner, and the thing might've spiraled out of control at that point.

Now, it's okay to have Queenan die that way, except that it has to be written credibly to reflect this -- maybe have him have his gun out and have them somehow get the drop on him, then you can proceed that way. Or have a shootout. At least one shot fired. C'mon, Queenan! This is your life!!

To have a police captain of long experience and awareness of what he's up against go down without a shot fired? It strains credibility (of course, one could also argue that his inability to realize that he'd been tailed might point to a certain operational naivete on his part, as well). Queenan was clearly simply sacrificed for the requirements of the plot.

It's really the only sticking point for me -- and certainly his demise is arresting (pun intended), and memorable, and it's unfortunate, and advances the plot. His death does its job for the story. They just needed to write it just a little bit tighter to cover the bases.

And Up Early

Alright, doing laundry at the moment. I like getting down there early to beat out the usual weekend laundry crowds. I usually try to do laundry on the weekday, but got behind because of the flu. Feeling about 90% better; still have some lung congestion lurking, especially when I lay down and try to sleep (joy), but otherwise nearly better. Can finally properly think again, so I'm diving into my writing again.