Conandrum

So, I watched "Conan the Barbarian" on DVD, surprised to see that there is some extended footage in this one, something like four minutes -- first time I'd ever seen those scenes, which had been cut in the US release I'd seen a zillion times. The two main additions are a chat about springtime between Conan and Subotai, and a kind of trippy extension of the Princess loping around with Conan in the Mountain of Power, on his way to dispatching Thulsa Doom. While the former was kind of startling, the latter was really odd. There is a sense that the Princess has some serious Father issues, since she goes from leaving her father, King Osric, to traipse after Thulsa Doom and be his bride/concubine/whatever, and then, realizing that Doom is going to do her in, that spell is broken and then she's apparently enthralled by Conan -- not exactly interacting with him in the scenes, but sort of just ambling around nearby, and semi-worshipping him, until he takes her by the hand and carries her over the rocky terrain, away from the ruin of Doom's temple. It's really odd, more so since I'd never seen this extended version before -- the Princess's presence in it is distracting, since she was always more than a little loopy, and she's clearly loopy, still (and, since, in the deleted scenes, we see the apparent assassination of King Osric by his men -- this doesn't make it in the final movie, it's at least assumed that the Princess is going to be Conan's lady friend). Trippy stuff, and I can see why they clipped it from the American release -- I mean, I always found it odd how she basically vanished after the Battle of the Mounds, but this extended version is bizarre -- imagine the Princess doing a silent interpretive dance sequence while Conan is going about his bloody business, and you'll get a sense of the vibe her presence in the final scene conveys.

Anyway, besides that, it was fun to watch again -- one of the things I always enjoyed about the movie is director John Milius's meticulous attention to little details, how he showed so much and didn't tell -- definitely a hallmark of him having written so many screenplays in his day, having that sense of how to frame a scene. That is one of the things that brings such satisfaction to the movie. For example, in two key sequences:

Conan at the Temple Gathering

When Conan is in disguise, trying to sneak into Doom's temple, there is a great sequence here, where you see Rexor and Thorgrim come out like they're looking for somebody. Already, the trap is springing on Conan, but it's very much shown without being told. Conan keeps brandishing the jade snake decoration from the Serpent Tower, thinking it's his pass for getting deep into the place, but a temple guard takes it, and you see him walking through the foreground with the decoration, getting the attention of Rexor and Thorgrim. All while the music is playing, and you can see the jaws of the trap closing in on clueless Conan, but it's done purely through imagery. Love how that scene sets up.

People Stew

The revelation that the Set cultists are cannibals is again just shown, without any dialogue -- you see the people bodies hanging in the hellish kitchen of Doom, without too much attention being drawn to it. And the "People Stew" is poured, and these bearers then carefully walk the glop up to the Orgy Room. The attention to continuity is marvelous here, as Milius is very attentive to this, showing the progression of those bearers all the way there, and even showing them leaving -- the effect of this is to integrate the pacing of the scene like clockwork, to create a very real sense of presence. He didn't have to do that, he could have just cut to the Orgy Room, but he actually walked those bearers all the way there, and then on their merry way, their task accomplished. It's very precise, and it's very well done (and from a production standpoint, it reflects an attention to detail that most directors would finesse).

Unfortunately, I can't find either of these clips on YouTube to illustrate it, but if you watch it, you'll see. Milius sweats the details, and I think those details are one of the real delights of the movie from the viewpoint of the audience. He does that throughout the movie. Continuity breeds credibility in moviemaking.

Barbarous

I was kind of pissed the other day, because I was trying to find a DVD for "Conan the Barbarian" (1982) -- the REAL one, and all I could find was the remake. Now, I haven't seen the remake, but I highly doubt that it could hold a candle to the original movie. In the larcenous drive to remake movies, when I'd heard they were doing that with "Conan," that felt the most quixotic to me, simply because the original has its own peculiar alchemy to it. Although critics sniffed about the violence and it having fascist overtones (or undertones) and saw something sinister in Austrian Arnold beheading Black James Earl Jones, to me, it's just a good fantasy movie. One of the best, in truth. From 1982 until 2001 (when LOTR came out), "Conan" reigned as one of the only true successes in fantasy moviemaking -- it had the right epic feel, had great battle scenes, and even its neo-Nietzschean ethos fits like a gauntlet. The movie is fun. Thulsa Doom is a great villain, Arnold is great as Conan (even his character's silences are kind of endearing and perfect -- I mean, the guy IS a barbarian, right?) Subotai, Valeria, Subotai, Thorgrim (sp), Conan's dad, Mako as the Wizard, even Max Von Sydow phoning it in as King Osric (if memory serves) -- all of it flows really well together. The deliberately low-key way they did magic was an inspired touch, and, I think, it one of the things that lent "Conan" its special character -- the magic is there, but it's done in such a low-key, matter-of-fact way, it works perfectly with the story, without causing a distraction.

I first saw this movie as a kid, with my family, in a drive-in theater! How retro is that? But my liking of it didn't stem from some nostalgia for that; rather, I appreciated it more over time, as I'd caught it over the years. Maybe the great soundtrack is part of it (heh, I actually have the soundtrack on CD), conveying that grand scope that's vital to any fantasy movie.

My only complaint is that the end doesn't quite work -- after the high point of the Battle of the Mounds, it's kind of a letdown when Conan finally dispatches Thulsa Doom. All of that buildup throughout the movie, and then the final confrontation is kind of meh, especially after all that had come before it. But it's only a slight complaint; I love the movie.

So, I'd had it on VHS over the years, and, when I replaced that with a DVD player, I hadn't gotten around to getting a DVD copy of "Conan," figuring I'd eventually get there. Then that damned remake came out, and now that's displaced the far worthier original -- for a whole generation of kids, THAT is "Conan," now. Ridiculous! Fortunately, I was able to get it from Amazon, and made a point to, before it somehow disappeared. I'm looking forward to catching it again.