Wakeup Call

Some drunken Chad woke me up. Thump thump thump on door across the hall. I went to the peephole to check. The guy was drunkenly trying to key into neighbor's apartment. When his key wouldn't work, he tried to get into my place, threw a shoulder on the door. I opened the door and the guy stepped back, startled, muttered "Oh, shit." I said "Wrong floor. What floor are you looking for?" and he said "MY floor." The guy's pants were half-off, and he'd pissed himself, clearly. I said "Well, it's not this floor." Then he tried my neighbor's door a couple more times before he lurched down the hallway.