Hmm

I like Campari. I also like Salma Hayek (okay, she's got a reputation as being majorly high-maintenance [putting it politely], but she's very juicy). But somehow, Salma Hayek shilling for Campari is perplexing to me. What does Salma Hayek have to do with Campari? And the ads are kind of odd the way the Burger King "King" ads were odd, too...

For example, the above ad makes me think that Salma actually bludgeoned her Eurotrash lover/boy toy with the Campari bottle (or else she drugged him), and you were walking in with some ice (because you guys were going to have a three-way, of course)...

and she's staring at you, trying to make up some story about how he's just sleeping with his eyes open, that he's not actually dead. All of the ads are willfully off like that. It's the kind of thing where I might be tempted to reach for a bottle of Campari, only to hesitate, with a kind of David Lynch icy jazz soundtrack coming up, some odd stranger appearing, some film noir fugue state intruding on the moment, giving me pause. Because she will kill you...

In fact, she just called you up, so you can join Eurotrash Victim 1 and Glamour Boy 2 (who she's ensuring is dead by gouging him in the eye with her hand).