B1 and I were talking earlier, and I was mentioning what a good memory he has, and he said "I wish I could forget things, too." and I said "Like what?" and he said "Sad things." and I said "Like...?" and he said "Like Newt dying." And I could see him fighting back tears, asking me about why his kidneys failed, etc. I held him and told him that he needed to just remember all of the good things about Newt as a way of keeping Newt alive in his heart. It was so heart-breaking to see B1 fighting back tears. He's a crier, like I am, but this is the first time I've seen him shed any tears over Newt -- and, uncharacteristically, he was fighting them back a bit. I just tried to comfort him. Sweet lil' guy. He's such a good kid. He's got a big heart like I do. I'm glad for that.
I've had a couple of "ghost cat" dreams, like seeing Newt watching me from the hallway and such. B2 keeps asking every now and then where Newt's gone. B2 was trying out a new face today -- his "statue face" -- he did some amazing acting! He stood there with a neutral expression and then, without breaking character one bit, he let his eyes go blank -- it was a marvelous metamorphosis, and I'm impressed that he already could do that. Also, he was being loud at one point and I pretended to turn the volume down on him, turning an imaginary knob on his shoulder -- I said "Let's get this down to 3, howsabout?" and he whispered to me. Then I said "Well, maybe 5." and then he talked in a softer voice, but louder than the whisper. I was impressed that my four-year-old could understand that and, on the first try, get that just right.
